Serendipity
Monday, August 29, 2005
BollyWood Formulae(not original)
BOLLYWOOD !!
hey i find out some non-intersting melodarmatic , most widely d -grade Bollywood formulaes
hi !! until i come up with ne new creative bakar of my own..bear this crap and ya i am a fan of Richard Stallman so believe in open source.
any resemblance between anything here and views of somebody else are not co-incidental. The question of similarity of existence of my views and views of anyone else is left as an exercise for the reader..
1) Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).
2)If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines wil
l a) die
b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
3) If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
4) Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
5) The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
6) In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
7) When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss ...
b) run out of bullets.
c) When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
8) Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots
b) barrels
c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
9) Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
10) Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
IS THIS IT BOOM.
--------------------------------------------
Act1 Scene I
Location: LTI
Actors: One man and one woman from Elite core Technologies. Name- what the hell would you do with their name.
Background: some 100 odd students.
Scene: PPT starts.
Our company is very good and we thrive on excellence. Lucrative view of company profile- we make software’s for Tata’s (What the hell TCS and Tata InfoTech doing there with 45, 000 employees globally) and Reliance (Ya! You can do that reliance as an alternative of making software from us or hiring us they can rely on bug free software from you) and there are also never heard names. He continues his conversation about what company does and what companies trying to achieve in future. He keeps us waiting for the package. Since I was not fascinated with slideshow so I reroute myself to stare MS-IT girls which seems to be better than our batch. 30 minutes ppt over. Alas! No package slide. Thou should not be fair, O Mr. Antonio- where is package? There was an ambiguity in information residing on placement website. So I dare to ask –“Sir, can you please elaborate on package”. Secret is still yet to unlock and the lady in white (she was not stunning- so no luscious feelings) opens her oral cavity- 1.2 lakhs. Now it’s time to see faces of all those attending session. Sir- is there any slip-up in what you said, but she puts a authenticate stamp on her words.
Many of us decided to stay out of the picture and decided to move to next scene.
*******************Scene I Ends**************************
Act I scene II
Location: Outside LT1.
Actors: Few Amitabh Bachhans of 70’s
"Sher bhuka mar jaayega lekin ghaas nahin khaayega. Mein yeh nahin kehta ki main sher hoon lekin yeh ghaas hain.”- One of the annotations came from a friend on miserable package offered. You have the enthusiasm for fly and our company will give you platform for fly (This one is from Ace Soft). Sir- I don’t want to fly I want a job- I can use Spice Jet, Air deccan, Kingfisher or any other cheap airline to fly, if you give me better package I can use Indian Airlines too. Well by this time you have understand the extra ‘s’ in bachhans reflects angry young man of 70’s who fight against the corrupt bureaucracy. Well I don’t know who is corrupt here (you must be thinking Asim Banerjee- I know it. Please don’t do he has done a good job in placement, though he gave me C in SEN). Another point – we are not bachhans but we are angry young man. Scene dispersed with everyone laughing on himself hiding their fake smiles.
************Scene II ends******************************
13 days of placement fair (as they called it) have been passed and still 100 odd people are unemployed (I am one of them- otherwise I will write down something like vivek). From the past one-year we have been reading in newspapers and porn-site (sorry typing error- its http://www.indiatimes.com/) about the IT boom in India. Companies are striking campuses like anything and recruiting in mass numbers. So at last 8 companies turned up and no comments on package- enough has been said about it. With almost 1500 companies in B’lore and contacting 400 companies around the India in last 3 months, we did not progress to 2 digits. Is this the IT- boom or we still have to wait for 4 more years to make our college popular in IT arena. And last but not the least- any idea of which company is coming next?
Act1 Scene I
Location: LTI
Actors: One man and one woman from Elite core Technologies. Name- what the hell would you do with their name.
Background: some 100 odd students.
Scene: PPT starts.
Our company is very good and we thrive on excellence. Lucrative view of company profile- we make software’s for Tata’s (What the hell TCS and Tata InfoTech doing there with 45, 000 employees globally) and Reliance (Ya! You can do that reliance as an alternative of making software from us or hiring us they can rely on bug free software from you) and there are also never heard names. He continues his conversation about what company does and what companies trying to achieve in future. He keeps us waiting for the package. Since I was not fascinated with slideshow so I reroute myself to stare MS-IT girls which seems to be better than our batch. 30 minutes ppt over. Alas! No package slide. Thou should not be fair, O Mr. Antonio- where is package? There was an ambiguity in information residing on placement website. So I dare to ask –“Sir, can you please elaborate on package”. Secret is still yet to unlock and the lady in white (she was not stunning- so no luscious feelings) opens her oral cavity- 1.2 lakhs. Now it’s time to see faces of all those attending session. Sir- is there any slip-up in what you said, but she puts a authenticate stamp on her words.
Many of us decided to stay out of the picture and decided to move to next scene.
*******************Scene I Ends**************************
Act I scene II
Location: Outside LT1.
Actors: Few Amitabh Bachhans of 70’s
"Sher bhuka mar jaayega lekin ghaas nahin khaayega. Mein yeh nahin kehta ki main sher hoon lekin yeh ghaas hain.”- One of the annotations came from a friend on miserable package offered. You have the enthusiasm for fly and our company will give you platform for fly (This one is from Ace Soft). Sir- I don’t want to fly I want a job- I can use Spice Jet, Air deccan, Kingfisher or any other cheap airline to fly, if you give me better package I can use Indian Airlines too. Well by this time you have understand the extra ‘s’ in bachhans reflects angry young man of 70’s who fight against the corrupt bureaucracy. Well I don’t know who is corrupt here (you must be thinking Asim Banerjee- I know it. Please don’t do he has done a good job in placement, though he gave me C in SEN). Another point – we are not bachhans but we are angry young man. Scene dispersed with everyone laughing on himself hiding their fake smiles.
************Scene II ends******************************
13 days of placement fair (as they called it) have been passed and still 100 odd people are unemployed (I am one of them- otherwise I will write down something like vivek). From the past one-year we have been reading in newspapers and porn-site (sorry typing error- its http://www.indiatimes.com/) about the IT boom in India. Companies are striking campuses like anything and recruiting in mass numbers. So at last 8 companies turned up and no comments on package- enough has been said about it. With almost 1500 companies in B’lore and contacting 400 companies around the India in last 3 months, we did not progress to 2 digits. Is this the IT- boom or we still have to wait for 4 more years to make our college popular in IT arena. And last but not the least- any idea of which company is coming next?
